Hilariously named .blog registry operator Knock Knock Whois There has been ordered to change its name to “Knock Knock RDAP There” or risk the wrath of ICANN Compliance.
The company has been told it has 30 days to file papers requesting the name change with the California Secretary of State, or ICANN will initiate termination proceedings against it, putting about 300,000 .blog domains at risk.
The surprising move comes a couple of months after ICANN’s contracted parties finished their mandatory migration from the old Whois protocol to the newer Registration Data Access Protocol.
ICANN Compliance is taking the migration deadline incredibly seriously, according to a KKWT source.
“They started calling us up almost immediately,” she said. “When we got the first warning fax, we thought it was a joke so we just ignored it. But then we started getting menacing voicemails every day, then every hour. It’s gotten really frightening.”
“They even somehow found out my 90-year-old mom’s cell number and started calling her at her retirement home, telling her ‘the kid complies, or we escalate’,” the source said. “She has no idea what that means and she’s terrified.”
Compliance’s increasing belligerence is believed to be linked to boredom. The department, having successfully eliminated all DNS abuse, is now scrounging around for other things to enforce.
“Damn right we’ll escalate,” Compliance chief Ronnie Smanks told us. “Those Knock Knock wankers better get their house in order, or I’ll send the boys around.”
That’s believed to be a reference to ICANN’s recently created Physical Compliance department, a collection of rough lads often seen loitering around ICANN headquarters brandishing tire irons, pickaxe handles, and bicycle chains.
But KKWT says it will not be cowed, and is seeking out legal advice. It’s also recruited a creative agency to try to come up with a new company name that is just as funny as the original, which is, as everyone agrees, very, very funny indeed.
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